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Question : My daughter gets very disturbed if she sees her parents going close to some other child please help.
Our Answer : Jealousy in children is like effervescence that froths in a soda bottle, it is normal. This is not as worrisome as it appears, but if not dealt with in the right way it will begin to grow and traumatize your child. Understanding the cause of this emotion and woring on easing the insecurity that is eating up your child’s mind with patience, love and understanding is crucial. It is just their plea for a little more love and attention.
Jealousy in Children – Symptoms and Types
Has your child become overly clingy all of a sudden? Have you heard your child passing off hand or rude comments to his peers? Is your child suddenly gripped by spurts of anger? Or appears in a depressed state off late? These are all signposts pointing at the jealousy growing in your child’s mind. The next step is ascertaining the type of jealousy. Children normally suffer from material jealousy, sibling jealousy, social jealousy or academic/skill jealousy.
A step-wise guide to deal with your child’s jealousy
Jealousy puts adults in an uncomfortable spot, imagine a child unable to express or identify the cause of unrest in their mind. Ease this knot formation in the mind by empathizing with your child. You could achieve this by setting aside a chunk of “Special Time” just for your child. This will make your child feel loved and wanted.
Don’t brush off his/her disappointment by merely telling them to grow up. Be a stickler with few rules like no hitting and no speaking to people in a hurtful way, but shower your child with the love and attention he/she is craving for.
To curb jealousy ensure nothing else frizzles up your child. Put a proper bedtime routine and eating schedule in place this is also a soothing factor. Sometimes addressing your child’s concern in the form of a story could have a miraculous effect and he/ she might perceive the situation in a different light.
Your child should be made to realize that he or she holds an important place in the family. You can achieve this by reinforcing your child’s confidence with positive affirmations and praises at opportune times.
Fill your child’s life with experiences and not material possessions. Instead of purchasing high—end toys take your child on a day trip or just to the park for a couple of hours. Possession of innumerable material goods results in greed for more, and when those needs aren’t met it leads to anger and can eventually turn into jealousy.
Purchasing a truckload of goodies will not put an end to your child’s jealousy, so stop giving in to all their demands. When your child has to wait for their demand to be fulfilled, it will teach them to value things.
While conversing around your children, make sure there is no trace of comparison and also don’t be spiteful about another’s success. A child absorbs everything, practice gratitude and create a loving environment for your child.
Buckle up and practice perseverance & patience. Jealousy is a passing cloud and you can help it drift away from your child’s life.